Learning to Fly without Wings

Since Emily was in Preschool I have had concerns about her ability to learn to read. At the end of the year her preschool teacher called me in and told me that the class had been learning the names of letters and the letter sounds all year long, but when she tested Emily on how many she knew, she could not get Emily to sit still long enough to give her any answers. I thought at that point that maybe she had ADD or ADHD, which my husband and three older boys have and maybe her distraction was getting in the way of her being able to recite the things she knew. I put it on the back burner and thought I would just continue to work with her at home and she would improve.

In Kindergarten, her teacher kept telling me that she was really struggling to catch on to reading. So I worked with her more at home. We practiced sight words daily and I would try to have her read aloud to me. She was able to memorize all of her sight words eventually, but she was still unable to sound out words that she didn't have memorized. I talked to her teacher and asked if the school could possibly test for dyslexia. The teacher talked to the special education person at the school and then told me that they didn't have specific testing for dyslexia and that they thought she was doing well enough since she had memorized her sight words for the year.

In First Grade, her teacher talked to me about her concerns for Emily in reading and asked if it would be ok to place her in a special small group where children who struggled to read could get more one on one help with an adult. I said that would be great and asked the teacher if this new school we were in tested for dyslexia and she said no.


One reason I have kept wondering about Dyslexia is because it can run through heredity. My brother has it, my husband's brother has it, and my oldest son has it. I struggled for years trying to teach my oldest son to read and we would both end up frustrated and in tears. I kept asking the school to test him and they kept telling me they didn't think he had dyslexia or they didn't have the testing for it in the school. Every year he moved up a grade, he fell farther and farther behind in reading. When he turned 14, I finally had him seen by a Neuropsychologist who diagnosed him with High Functioning Autism, Dyslexia and learning disabilities in math and reading. He was able to get those diagnosis' added to his IEP (individual education plan) and finally get what he needed in school to help him progress in reading. It made me feel sad that he had to struggle so hard for so long when he could have had the specific help he needed to be successful many years earlier.

Fast forward to this year and my youngest child Marcus. I started working with him on reading in April and then had him read the BOB books to me all summer. He started Kindergarten this fall and they had to put him in First Grade for reading and Math everyday because he was bored in Kindergarten and already knew how to read when kids around him didn't even know letter sounds or names.

This shows me that it isn't how I teach my children that is the problem. I am capable of teaching a child to read. I just don't have the specific skills and know how to teach my children that struggle with reading. I worked with Emily all summer with the same books and I couldn't get her to even keep her eyes on the page long enough to finish a page. It usually ended in a lot of tears and frustration.

Emily started 2nd grade this fall. I talked with her regular Primary Care Doctor who agreed that she should be tested. We got a referral for her and she was evaluated by a Neuropsychologist who diagnosed her with Dyslexia and problems with her Active Working Memory. When I questioned the doctor about the memory aspect, I said, she has the ability to memorize her sight words so I am surprised about you saying she has memory problems. He said Active working memory is more of a short term memory. It means when she is sounding out the first part of a word and moves on to sound out the second part of the word, she has already forgotten the first part and can't remember it to blend the two sounds together. It also mean that she struggles with communication. She knows what she wants to say in her mind, but when she tries to say the words she can't get out one fluid sentence. There are a lot of pauses and words like "Um, well, uh." Or she will repeat the first part of the sentence over and over trying to get it all out in one fluid sentence only to get hung up over and over again. I also asked the doctor about possible ADD. He said she doesn't lack the ability to concentrate, he says she starts wiggling as soon as she is faced with having to read because she can't do it, and it makes her uncomfortable. "Look at her right now, she is sitting still just fine over at the table while you and I are talking." The doctor pointed out.

Once I had the diagnosis in hand, I went to the school to talk to them about Emily getting an IEP so she could get the help she needed in school. They said she may have a diagnosis, but that doesn't mean if affects her ability to function in school. We have to do our own testing so that we can get state funding. To even do the testing we have to hold a board meeting to decide IF we will do it. You can attend if you want, but you don't have to." I was told by the school psychologist. "Oh I will be there!" was my response. I have learned in the past that I am the best advocate for my child. Why would I not want to attend a meeting deciding if they would help her. 

The morning of the board meeting I went into a room with about 15 staff all seated around a table and it was just me there to speak on Emily's behalf. Her teacher was late. I had been praying to know what to say. To be able to express myself without being too emotional, while still putting forth all the evidence that my daughter did need to be tested and to have extra help. After I said everything I needed to say, her teacher came in and proceeded to say everything I had just said. I thanked her later for being late, because she acted a second witness for Emily, without even hearing the things I had said. The board agreed to do the testing. I was thrilled and felt my prayers had been answered! 

After about two months of waiting, they finally completed the testing and Emily now has an IEP. The Neuropsychologist had suggested a specific reading program to use and said that I should buy it. It was "only" $250.00 per lesson. When I told him I couldn't afford that he asked what school district we were in and when I told him, he said "Oh good, that school district has this reading program." I talked to the special education teacher and told her what the doctor said. She looked it up and she can order a copy of the program from the district office. She said that program looks like it would also be helpful for some of the other students in her classroom. 

Some people think that getting your child diagnosed it just slapping a label on them that will limit what they can do in their lives. I believe it is giving my children the tools and specific help that he or she needs to be successful and to progress in the best way possible for their needs. I am giving her the wings so she can learn how to fly.