Surgery Updates

I went in as scheduled on January 13th bright and early for my hysterectomy. They did a supracervical hysterectomy meaning they took everything except my cervix and ovaries which is what I wanted. The surgery required a bikini line C-section type cut. Everything went really well with surgery, it took about 3 hours and now I am in the hospital recovering.

This is where you can stop reading if you don't want to know the nitty gritty of what they found or if stuff like that interests you, continue on reading...

When they opened me up they found lesions on the outside of my uterus which tells them I had Endometriosis growing on the outside of my uterus (which they had suspected years ago before I started having children, but it can only be confirmed with surgery, so I never found out for sure until now.) They also discovered that inside the uterus I had Adenomyosis which is uterine lining that was growing into the uterine muscle itself and bleeding into that muscle each time I had a cycle. Another thing they found that I had been having what is called reversed periods where the bleeding goes up into the fallopian tubes and bleeds out into the abdomen, so I had pooled blood in my abdomen. All of these things combined shows why I was in such horrible pain and why I was bleeding so much. It just confirms in my mind that this was the right course of action for me to take. Hearing these things also makes me so grateful that I was able to get pregnant and stay pregnant and have 5 children. I really feel like that in and of itself is a miracle!

So this is a super painful procedure. I have never had a C-section, so I don't know how to compare it to people who have, but the first day felt like having a constant contraction, extreme cramping and pain. Today the cramping is gone, but I am having really bad sharp pains that feel like someone is stabbing my abdomen repeatedly. This morning, they were talking about letting me go home today because they took out the catheter and I was getting up and walking to the bathroom. But later they had to put in another catheter because I had been to the bathroom 4 times and each time had voided 500 ml of fluid, but was still feeling lots of pressure, which was making the other abdominal pain even worse. The nurse did a bladder scan and found that I still had 800 ml of fluid in there. They put the catheter in thinking that must have been a mistake, and then I proceeded to void 1,000 ml of fluid into the cath bag. I am still having bladder retention problems so they are keeping the catheter in until tomorrow morning. This afternoon I developed Mastitis again. I will be seeing the doctor hopefully in the morning and she can prescribe some antibiotics for the mastitis. So they are keeping me for at least another night and day. We will see how things go tomorrow. They moved me down to the pnu now so I have a private room, which is nice. Once I got moved, they also gave me an abdominal belt to help support my muscles better when I move. I walked around the nurses station 3 times for my exercise. Such a little thing, but it wore me out.

My mom is holding down the fort at home and I am so grateful for her help. Don is running Marcus back and forth to me at the hospital so I can keep nursing.

Thanks for the prayers, happy thoughts, and support everyone ~ Much appreciated!

It is Time

What time is it? 1:00 in the morning. I should be cozied up asleep next to my husband, but here I sit at the computer unable to shut my brain off and relax enough to get some zzzz. So instead I will let my fingers fly over the keys as I attempt to convey the thoughts that are swimming through my mind. What is on my mind? Babies. I am not sure if all women are born with this same love of babies, but I have had a love for babies from the time that I was very young.

 

At the age of 5, I remember leaving my house with a baby doll in my arms and thinking, "I wonder if people will think I am this baby's mother?" That thought makes me laugh thinking about it now as an adult, but it was a perfectly logical question in my 5 year old mind.

It is also no wonder that after getting married, babies was naturally for me the very next thought in my mind and so after just 3 short months of marriage my husband and I found out that we were expecting our first baby. I was thrilled, my husband was terrified. He had no career and hadn't been to college. We were both working jobs to make ends meet.

 We were young by todays standards. He was 22, I was 23 when we welcomed our first baby boy into our family. My husband was away at basic training starting the career of his dreams and I was in the hospital suffering through the 26 hours of natural labor and 3 1/2 hours of pushing to bring our little Joshua into the world.

 

But from the first moment when they laid his little body on my chest and I looked into his eyes, I realized that E.V.E.R.Y moment of the 5 months of morning sickness, puking, the uncomforts of pregnancy, and this horrific labor and delivery were worth it. This perfect little baby boy lay in my arms and I was finally a mother.

 

I enjoyed every stage watching Joshua grow during that first year of his life. Being a mother to him made me want to continue having many more children. Since then I have had 4 more children. 5 in total. 4 boys and 1 girl.

 

 

With each pregnancy I have been so excited to hear that first heartbeat on the monitor, to feel the first kick, to hold my babies in my arms for the first time and look into their precious faces and know that I was their mother.

 

Our 2nd baby: Samuel

 

Our 3rd Baby: Daniel

 

Our 4th Baby: Emily

 

Our 5th Baby: Marcus

 

Here comes the problem. After each baby, when they reach about 10 months old, I start hemorrhaging when my monthly cycle returns. Between each baby it has only gotten progressively worse. After having Marcus, I didn't stop bleeding after the regular 6 weeks post partum. It continued for 5 months.

 

I saw a GYN and she thinks I have what is called Adenomyosis. Which basically means the endometrium lining grows into the muscle wall of the uterus causing heavy bleeding, and extremely painful cramping, because as the monthly cycle happens, the lining bleeds into the muscle itself at the same time it sluffs off. She said the only way to take care of this is to do a hysterectomy. I was blessed to have an absence of a cycle from months 5-9, but then they returned with full force. I talked with the GYN again and was told there was nothing more they could do for me, that it was time to start thinking about surgery. I prayed that I could make it to at least when Marcus turned 1 so that I could continue nursing him until then. My cycles stopped for one month and returned on his first birthday. I started hemorrhaging that day for a week and then only had a 10 day break before my bleeding started up again.

 

I feel like that was my answer to prayer and called the GYN surgeon to let her know I was finally ready to schedule surgery. They booked me for January 13th.

 

I had to go have pre-surgery lab work done that day and cried all the way to the hospital thinking about this chapter of my life coming to a close. I mourn the fact that I will never again experience pregnancy, hold my own newborn in my arms, or nurse another baby. Also, I mourn the fact that I will never have another daughter. I have 4 wonderful boys, but I have only been able to experience having one daughter. Don and I prayed that night for clarity and assurance that this was the correct choice and we both woke up the next day feeling extremely calm. This calm has continued and so we feel at ease with the decision. It doesn't make it easy, but at least we won't have regrets. So now I move on from the baby bearing phase of life to the child rearing phase of my life. I have felt it an honor and privilege to have been able to experience pregnancy and participate with my husband and with God in the creation of 5 beautiful children.