MY PIECE OF HUMBLE PIE:
Daniel is my 3rd child and 3rd boy. Before he was born I was of the opinion that one type of parenting would work for all of my children because it had worked so well with my first two children. When I was pregnant with Daniel I was visiting my sister and her son was throwing a tantrum in the car and she looked at me in frustration and said: "what do you do when your children throw tantrums?" I said in all seriousness, "I don't know. My children don't throw tantrums." Which at the time was completely true, Josh and Sam did not. Looking back at that comment I laugh because I got served a big fat helping of humble pie...Daniel throws tantrums that could put any two year old's tantrums to shame (he will be 4 this month and they have not stopped.) It has been said that you either marry your biggest trial or give birth to it, in this case it is the latter of the two. He has taught me that one type of parenting does NOT fit all children and just because something worked with one child does NOT mean it will work with another. He has taken my confidence as a mother and shaken it to the very core.
MILESTONES:
Daniel was born with a complete knot in his cord. When he was born the doctor and nurses said "Do you see this? This is what we call a miracle, he should not have been able to survive with this tight of a knot in his cord." I have often thought back on that and wondered if it effected his brain development in the womb, having less oxygen and nutrients than my other babies. He was born the smallest of my babies at 7 lbs. 14 oz. but definitely made up for it once he was out of the womb. He became my biggest and fattest at all his well child exams. He is in the middle of the picture below...look at that cute chub!
As time went on he started falling farther behind in his milestones. Recently his pediatrician had enough concerns that she wanted me to have him see a neuropsychologist to see if he is on the autism spectrum. The wait time is about 6 months, so we have an apt in Sept. In the category of gross motor, his ability to walk, climb, jump, and run are right where they need to be that is his one strong suites. I am fairly certain he could outrun any Olympic runner, which he tries to do on a weekly if not daily basis. It is not uncommon for him to escape from the house, or yard, or car and to see me or my husband running after him to try and catch him.
"DANIEL-ISMS"
You might want to plug your ears when Daniel gets excited. He yells at the top of his lungs while jumping up and down and flapping his hands on the side of his head. Changes...he hates them, every single one. "It is time to get on your day clothes and change from your pajamas." NOOOOOO! Tantrum ensues. At the end of the day it is the same reaction when it is time to change from his day clothes to pajamas. It is time for bed, it is time to eat, it is time to leave the park, leave the house, to go church, every change is met with opposition and a fight.
JUNE 1ST:
Daniel started speaking around 2 and at this age he is speaking in sentences and is understandable (when he will use his words.) On Saturday, June 1st, he went to the park with his brothers and daddy and two hours later he came back and had lost his ability to speak clearly. Everything that came out of his mouth was babble and stuttered. He had never stuttered, even when learning to speak. My husband said nothing significant had happened at the park, no trauma, he hadn't hit his head or anything. He also went from being almost completely potty trained to pooping his pants daily. I called and tried to make an apt but was told I couldn't get in to see his pediatrician until the 28th. This went on for 6 days until I finally called again and was put through to the nurse who told me to take him to the ER. The hospital on base told me they didn't have the resources like a MRI or a neurologist to be able to help diagnose what could be happening and asked me to speak with his pediatrician the next day. The next morning she called me and told me to take him off base to a civilian hospital that would be able to help. Again we went to the ER and were there from 10 am -7 pm. They admitted him to the Peds floor of the hospital overnight with the intent of doing a bunch of procedures next day that would require him to be sedated because of his age and inability to hold still during the procedures. They needed to see inside his brain to make sure he had not had a stroke, a seizure, or some kind of virus that would have effected his speech and bowel control.
JUNE 8TH:
Procedures started at 6 am, they did an MRI, a spinal tap, blood work, and an EEG. He had a hard time waking up from sedation, but he did very well otherwise. When he woke up he was starting to talk and for the first time in a week his speech was clear and understandable again. The main tests came back clear. The neurologist spoke with me and said he was thinking more and more that Daniel is on the Autism spectrum and that perhaps this episode was more related to that and not to an actual physical problem. He also said that many times with children that have Autism if they loose their speech this quickly and dramatically they don't ever get it back. I felt very blessed that his did come back on it's own. The doctors that worked with Daniel and I feel relieved to know there was nothing physically wrong with him and if we had not done those tests we would not have been sure of that.
SIDE EFFECTS:
Daniel complained of back pain when he woke up and did not want to get out of bed. The doctors said they had to take a lot of fluid out when they were doing the spinal tap and they had tried to combat that with giving him extra IV fluids, but it was possible that he might develop a spinal headache. He came home Saturday night and cried and complained of more back pain any time he would sit for very long or had to get up from sitting. We gave him IB profen and had him lay flat on an ice pack. On Sunday he wasn't up for going to church and so my husband stayed home with him. Sunday evening he kept crying and saying "something is wrong with me, there is something in my head." We suspected he had developed the spinal headache. The next morning he started throwing up and just laid on the floor in his only comfortable position (out flat on his tummy). All day he slept and threw up. It got to the point that nothing was coming up except bile and he hadn't been able to urinate for 8 hours. After talking to the nurse advice line I was instructed to take him back to the ER. Last night we went to the ER and they said he was dehydrated and gave him IV fluids, strong pain medicine, and anti-nausea medication in his IV. For the first time in days he smiled and talked with me happily. He still did not want to get up, but he sure felt better after the medication. Once they got him stabilized they sent us home. Today he is STILL just laying around complaining of back pain and head pain, but he is not throwing up. I feel so sad for my boy.
THE PLAN:
He was evaluated for early intervention pre-school with the school district last week and had to score at least a 70 to be considered. He scored a 155. So he will go back for the testing in August and we will have the Neuropsych evaluation in September. Hoping we will get the tools we need for him to be successful and the information I need for me to know how to best help my little guy. For those of you who have known about all of this, I have appreciated your prayers and support in his behalf. Thank you.
