Going Back to the Beginning: Joshua's Birth Story

Growing up, I had always been excited about my future family. Watching all the Walt Disney Fairy Tales of the princess finding her prince charming and living happily ever after. So step one, find prince charming...done. Once we were married, the immediate next step in my mind was, it is time to have a baby! I didn't really plan ahead and think of things like: my husband has not been to college yet. I work at Fred Meyer as a cashier and he works in a steel factory and we both make minimum wage. I was caught up in the wonder of having a baby. So when we found out we were pregnant 3 months after we got married, I was ecstatic and my husband was panicking big time. He said: "I don't have a career, I don't have a degree, we can't live off my income alone and I don't want you to work once we have children." We started looking at options and my husband said he had always wanted to join the military. I was not pleased with the idea, knowing the war that was brewing in the middle east and the recent events of 9-11, but I figured if I say no he could come back to me years later and say "What if it had been great? Why didn't you ever let me fulfill my dream?" So I let him make the decision with the idea that if he loved it, it was his fault and if he hated it, it was his fault. It also had good starting pay and good medical benefits, so with a very heavy heart I said goodbye to my husband as he left for basic training, I was 8 months pregnant at the time.

My due date came and I prepared to welcome my son into the world. Unfortunately he didn't get the memo that he was due and decided he was happy to stay in a little longer. 

6 days after my due date I started having regular contractions, 5 minutes apart (which is when they say to come to the hospital). Well I marched into the hospital at about 6 pm, expecting to be admitted right away. Ha ha ha. I laid there and they monitored me for a couple of hours and decided I wasn't dilated to a 4 yet, so they sent me home. About 10 pm, my contractions started getting closer together...3 minutes apart. They were super painful. Again, I went to the hospital. They monitored me and once again sent me home saying I could come back in the morning for a "non-stress test" and depending on the results I could possibly be induced. When I planned for my birth I had the idea that I would have an epidural, that is what my sisters did, that is what my mom did. That way I wouldn't have to feel any of the really hard contractions, I planned for the hospital to manage my pain. I hadn't prepared for any other senario, so when I was sent home I was completely unsure how to deal with the pain. The contractions went on all night long and they were 3 minutes apart the whole time, the pain was so intense that I threw up several times and cried through most of the night. We went in at 11 am and they measured me and found that I was finally at a 4! So they admitted me. 

I got situated and they gave me my epidural....ahhhh about 20 minutes of no pain, it was great. Then I started noticing that the pain was coming back, but only on my left side. I asked the nurse about it and they tried upping the dose, when that didn't work. Then they tried repositioning the needle, that didn't work either. Eventually they decided that I must have a membrane separating the two sides of my spine and that there was nothing they could do to take the pain away. Thank goodness I had support....

My 2 sisters and 1 of my good friends were there, applying chapstick when my lips were so chapped, getting me ice chips, and giving me moral support. My mom was there to rub my feet, put wash cloths on my face. Most importantly, my mother in law was also there. She had all 6 of her children naturally and SHE knew how to handle the pain. I was crying and closing my eyes caving into the endless pain and she took my head in her hands and turned me towards her "Look at me, breathe with me." she coaxed..."hee hee wooo." I watched her and did what she did. I was so grateful for a room full of women who had experienced labor and who were there to support me.

The hours of my labor, continued on what seemed to be endlessly. There were periods of time that I would shake uncontrollably because of pain, moments that I was so exhausted from contracting for so many hours that I felt I couldn't go on. The nurses kept coming in and asking me to turn on my side, now this side, now try squatting, now put your leg in the air, now stand on your head (no not really the last one, but it felt like it). I couldn't figure out why. Now I understand it is because they were trying to get my baby to turn. I didn't know that Josh was posterior. Meaning his face was facing upwards instead of down so even though I was having hard contractions every 3 minutes, they weren't dilating me the way they should be because his head wasn't pressing against my cervix properly. After about 20 hours of laboring, I started developing an infection. They cranked up the pitocin hoping to move things along. There came a point where I could not breathe through the contractions any longer, it felt better to push and so it began...

I remember the different women in the room commenting about how long they had pushed with their babies saying "It shouldn't be long now and you will be done, maybe 45 minutes tops!" I would push and push and because of his position he just wasn't coming out. Going back and watching the birth video even 10 years later now makes me cry. I had no idea how long my labor would be or how physically taxing it would be. Had I known, at the time, I think I would have given up. Thank goodness I didn't know, thank goodness I had hope that it was just a little bit longer. I pushed with every contraction for 3 1/2 hours. I would completely fall asleep for 1-2 minutes between contractions and wake up ready to push. The staff said they couldn't believe I was still going, that most women would have given up and opted for a C-section. I was so swollen from pushing that they had to do an episiotomy (which I DID NOT want) to finally create enough space for him to come out.  

And then he was here. They laid his little body across my stomach and every agonizing moment of the last 26 hours were made worth it as I stared into the eyes of my perfect little son. 

He made up for his hard labor by being such a joy as a baby. He and I spent the first 6 months of his life by ourselves while my husband finished his Army school and then was sent away on training. He slept through the night at 2 months and I loved every stage of his babyhood. My fairy tale had come true, just not the way I had planned for or expected. But in a way that made me a stronger, and better person.